is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
