were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize