dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize