Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
