Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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