Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
