did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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