areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
