Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
