I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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