You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So much Jack, so little girl.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
