I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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