I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
