Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
