Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this boner is exhausting
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
