omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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