i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's no shave November. This is our time.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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