i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
