And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
