It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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