I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
