If i come over, it means nothing
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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