yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
