I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
