I've blown a few things in my day
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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