dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
