I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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