I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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