I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
