Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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