My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
