Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
