Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
