She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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