hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
