If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
