I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I checked into jail on foursquare
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
