Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
