His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You may now shotgun with the bride
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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