just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
