Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
