he was CRYING into my vagina
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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