I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
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I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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