Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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