i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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