did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
