So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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