the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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