He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
