Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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