We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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