Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We just shotgunned beers for America
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Every concussion has its silver lining
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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