first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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