This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize