i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All the doctor said was why
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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