why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
