Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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