man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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