2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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