Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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