Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I looked at my own cervix.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I believe in your delicious
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
