She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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