plz talk dirty to me
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize