3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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