Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
